the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Randomize
