he told me I talked like a deaf person
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize