this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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