I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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