and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You can't just leave with hair like that
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
