capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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