are you so shy because you have an std?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
