she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Randomize
