are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
