Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
