Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
