I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
