im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
