I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
