it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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