By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
