You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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