I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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