i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
