Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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