do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
