U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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