I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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