garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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