I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I want to have your abortion
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
