Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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