just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
There's always time for handjobs
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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