chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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