Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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