i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
