If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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