So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Randomize
