I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
tonight lets celebrate not being married
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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