Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
