We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Randomize
