I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I love how my cats smell like pot.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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