Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
