I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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