i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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