Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
A bitchslap is in order.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
