I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
