Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
he shaved USA in his pubs
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
