maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
