Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Someone came in the potted fern
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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