Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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