i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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