Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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