3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
