we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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