She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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