i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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