I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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