its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
When are your genitals available?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
