yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
