It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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