I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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