just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
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