Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Every concussion has its silver lining
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
