Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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