So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
