I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
