i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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