thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
