I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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