Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
