yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
