You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
We need to get me chipped asap
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
