I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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