So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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