i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
